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vol viii, issue 4 < ToC
Lost in Translation
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The PainAconite
of Duty
Lost in Translation
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The Pain
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Aconite
Lost in Translation
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The Pain
of Duty


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Aconite
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The PainAconite
of Duty
previous

The Pain
of Duty




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Aconite
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The Pain
of Duty


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Aconite
Lost in Translation
 by Peter J. King
Lost in Translation
 by Peter J. King
Even in this little Cotswold town,
                     where tourists swarm to browse antiques,
                                to sit and chat in Tea Shoppes,
               gastro-pubs, and hotel restaurants —
even here the night is bleak in back streets
                                                   and in alleyways.
                                                   The dustbins overflow
                                                           with untied, lumpy
                                                                 plastic bags,
                                           and shadows shift in ways
                                      that don’t quite match the sparse, dim lights.
                                                                The rats have little fear:
                 the soft and well-born cats who sit in cottage windows
             while the sun is up                  don’t venture far in moonlight,
                                                                         huddling in groups
                                                   beneath the ornamental street lamps
                                                                               in the central square,
                                                                   silent,       watchful.
There’s a slightly shabby shop
           whose maze of rooms and corridors
                         is stuffed with dusty books
                on shelves, on tables,
        piled in heaps that totter
                on the floors and stairs.                 At the rear,
                                                                the bins are almost empty —
                                                    and perhaps that’s why the alley
                                                             is so silent in the slanted night;
                                                                              even the rats steer clear.
                       Tonight the moon is new,
                              and clouds drift thinly,
                                              veiling stars and planets intermittently.
                                        In the bookshop, on the second floor,
                                                                       there is a change —
                            but not a movement, more a shift of darkness
                                                                         in a clump of shadows
                                                        in between twin towers of musty books.
There’s little light outside,
                 and what there is can’t penetrate the filthy windowpanes;
              the darkness in the room, then,
          should be perfect, featureless —
                                    yet there are places
                                 where it has a deeper quality,
                        and it’s in one of these the shadows shift.

                                                                                 There is a sound.
                                                                      Again, it’s not a stirring of the air –
                                                              there’s nothing that would register
                                                                                     on microphones –
                                                                  but if there had been listeners,
                                                     then ears would certainly have pricked
                                                             and hairs have raised on arms.
                                  The room grows cooler,
                        and the scent of something sour and sickly
                                           settles with the dust.

In the square, a solitary tourist, sleepless, strolls;
                                          the mediæval church, the crooked house,
                                    the buttercross on limestone stilts —
                 the night transforms them, even in the street lamps’
                                               orange glare; the wrought-iron curlicues
                                                      cast complex shadows.
                 Now the lone insomniac
                                        (despite the gloom, despite the dirty cobblestones)
           is drawn towards the twisting, narrow sidestreets.
Though he doesn’t understand the fascination that he feels,
               he doesn’t fight it;        he just buttons up his jacket,
                       rubs his hands together,                             shivers.

At the bookshop,
    in the second-storey room,
                                                      the patch of bitterness,
                                                      of cold, is motionless,
                                     though as the moments pulse
                        it changes its position
            till it’s at the window
                                           where the grime of decades
                                                    seems by contrast
                                           wholesome, normal, clean.

The silver sliver of the moon
                                          cannot be seen from where
                                                           the errant tourist shuffles,
                                          captivated by the dismal alley,
                                                         fuzzily bewildered.
                                                                Backs of businesses
                                                                           loom left and right,
                                    and there – a few yards distant – undistinguished,
                                             indistinguishable from its neighbours,
                    is the bookshop.                 He can vaguely sense
                                                                       that it’s the locus of the force
                                                                                   that reels him in.
       The sourness of spilt milk;
     the chill of mortuary slab;
at the bookshop window (though the preposition “at”
                                                     is too precise)
                       time and space are puzzled —
                                  then the puzzlement is suddenly outside,
                                            then down among
                                                              (or by, or in, or near)
                                                    the dustbins at the kerb.
                      The summoned tourist
           and the something that is nearly
                                       (or is less than)
                                                                   nothing
                                                 meet.
                             There is a greasy feeling for a moment,
                       then the night becomes less crowded,
                  loses mass — the alleyway is empty,
                                   undisturbed.

                                                         * * *

                                                          There is blood in his nostrils,
                                                                      caked hard and dark.
                                             He’s walking unsteadily
                                                                                by a river, beneath trees.
                                                                                The sun flickers
                                                                                          through palmate
                                                                                               leathery leaves,
                                                                          occasionally blinding him;
                                                          the dazzle makes the shade seem deeper.

                               He doesn’t know how he came to be here.
                               He doesn’t know where here might be.
                               The trees continue.
                               The river continues.
                               He continues walking,
                                             knows that if he falls
                                                        he’ll not get up again.

                                             The sky, the water, and the trees
                                     aren’t quite the colour he’d expect;
                he has no sense of smell, and both his ears
         seem stuffed with wax.
                                                            He doesn’t hear his footsteps,
                                                       but he feels
                                                                 the crispness of the dry, dead
                                                                              leaves beneath his shoes.
                                                            He’s not sure who he is,
                                                       but has a memory of darkness,
                                                 of stone cobbles, of compulsion,
                                                                                      something sharp
                                                                                    and cold,
                                                                                and sudden.

                               He continues walking,
                                       and the trees continue,
                                               and the river,
                                                          and no scents or sounds.

                                                           * * *

By the back door of the bookshop,
                                by the bins,
           the shadows shimmer indefinably,
                                but then are still;
                    the cats beneath the street lamps in the square
      prick up their ears,
then yawn and stretch
                and fail to meet each others’ eyes.


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Aconite