I forgot to choose
my color.

beige or brown,
black as tunnels

through doors too small
and keyholes too high.

I didn’t think it would matter
underground

but when the choice was made
my legs grew small

and stronger.
my ears grew taller

and long.
Behind me: a tail

so bright I thought at first
it glowed.

I was glad at first—
released from what I’d been

I could vanish
at last.

But diving down the rabbit-hole
I saw my fresh, furred feet.

I am white.
I am obvious in the dark.

Seen too soon,
chased again—

I wished to change this little thing,
make my skin like night

my fur as earth
as my hair had been.

But wishes must be made
in the changing.

Once I touched paw to ground
there was no going back

and running now, away from light,
away from eyes from shoes

that yet pursue me
I know my regret

too late.